Here's one of my favorites. Its not a record but it rules. Backstory: People are doing a video web thing about Billy Joel (thats a shot of East Meadow not Hicksville you morons)...

They interviewed a friend of mine (Tony Balls, the the bearded moron with glasses about 40 seconds in) at a record store and then misquoted him in some write up saying he called The Piano Man a bald drunk. It just so happens this record store was about 5 minutes from Billy's house and Billy read that write up so.... Upon returning to work one morning Tony found this lovely note waiting for him.

Chipped Chrome, Motherfuckers!

Here's one i swiped years ago from a guy named Leo off some dumb message board. The story was he got a lot of 30 punk records off some old timer meatball in Milan. They were all a bit partied but this one was broked off. It was a happy ending after all because it was all dirt cheap. Leo has a blog here check it www.derleonehas7cab.blogspot.com

J is for jealous.

This comes to us from a guy named Mark. This one isn't that trashed but has a pretty funny story attached to it. He was trying to buy some records off an old hardcore dude, but was only able to liberate this lone Flag LP. The story... "While flipping through his records i noticed a lot of them had crude messages written on them in red marker. i asked him what was up with that and he talked about how this guy "little john" who was stationed down here in the navy back then and "went on to sing in some band called the cro mags" got fucked up one night and wrote all over a bunch of his records and also spilled beer on a bunch of them."

Nothing else really needs to be said, record collection partied by John Joseph.

You is a goddamned fucking sonofabitch, motherfucking scrap of paper!!

Looks like someone ripped up some paper like shredded wheat and threw it in the vinyl. Never liked this version of rat fink so getting this copy for a deal would be alright with me. Another sent in by someone i cant remember. Running low. Hit me up with some funny or wrecked bonzers.

A Demon inside of you.

This one comes from a guy named Sean who has some serious rage issues. His story...

"I got ripped off for the bootleg instead of the OG (I payed 50). Because the dealer is one of these SUPER "opinionated" borderline-tweeker dudes, I knew I couldn't argue my way into a return/refund. So I (quite psychotically-angrily) took the hit and sacrificed the damn thing to the karma gods."

Must have been a fun moment for anyone looking into his window. Grown man fights with and brutalizes vinyl record. Film at 11. He should probably take this to comicon and have Pushead sign it.

Check out Seans blog here http://damagingnoise.blogspot.com/

Your packing skills are an Embarrassment.

Kansas is alright, if you like broken records. This fine art punk, kbd bonzer looks great with a 3rd of it sliced right off. Such a clean break, with a nice twisting cavern of white space between the black grooves. I'm sure the buyer didn't think so, and was probably pulling out some hair and possibly shedding a few tears when he got this one in the mail. Just slap some gorilla glue in there and it should be good as new.

It's been so long since the owner agreed to let me post this scan i can't remember who it was. If my failing memory is correct its ultra KBD collector Ryan Richardson. Check him out at www.breakmyface.com & ryebreadrodeo.com. If its not Ryan's please let me know and i will give you a free patio set.

Too much pressure...

is what the postman applied to the package when he folded it like a taco and stuffed it thru the mail slot. To add insult to injury this has one of those funny hand colored sleeves with doodles inside which according to tales of lore is limited to 25 copies. Could be a fake since it is paired up with 2nd press vinyl but who the hell knows some 30 years later. This comes from Jeroen of the Netherlands who said it was purchased for $3 in the late 80's and broken in 91. Thats some "back in the day" breakage n shit. I have severely neglected this blog but not too much shit has come my way in terms of broken record stories, hell this was sent to me over a year ago. Guess i'm just lazy.

The word is Fuck These Clowns.

Somebody had a message for Rik L Rik. Suck it!

Just Plain Cool.

Another one from our buddy Steve Guttenberg. This was his dads, i wish my dad had minor threat and heart attack 7"s to give me. From what i remember his dad says he got this from the band, possibly before they had sleeves made, or maybe they ran out. This isn't a trashed record but needs to be shown off.

Wait A Minute!? Don't Know What I Am Going To Do About My Broken Record.

This was sent in by a viewer, i can't find the original email right now to tell you who it is. This rare clear vinyl copy has met its match at the hands of the us postal service, what a tragedy. Well if you got one it just got 1 rarer.

My medical opinion? You've got the bends.

Who said package jockeys can read? Matt Bellosi was psyched to get this drug rocker until he became sick at the sight of his sickness 7". Maybe if they had put the caution sleeve on the outside of the package someone would have taken note...

No Sleep Till...

I cover this gatefold jacket in graffiti. Found this at a garage sale for 50 cents sometime in the 90's. I almost didn't realize what album this was because of all the writing on it. No idea what any of it says maybe somebody can fill me in.

What time is it?

Its time to stop dropping shit on your rare jammers. Another from Negative Master Tom. Word is he was moving some stuff around in his house and a speaker grill fell off and went right thru this Really Red 7" he had sitting on a chair. Now thats gotta hurt. Forget controlling the crowds, better start practicing some grill control.

Psycho 5 1/2 song ep

From the murky depths of an ancient collection comes this limited color wax copy of the son of 8 song ep. A tasty chunk has broken off and found its way to the bottom of a box somewhere.

Why don't you just flatten up, off my turntable, your vinyl warp is just too much.

Looks like this lp was used to break down a wall. Coming to us from our ex-Xed friend Steve Guttenberg over at chronic death records. Steve was psyched to get this from his dads old friend until he pulled it out and saw this edge was definitely broken.

Half Circle One.

Found this laying around, thrown under a pile of shitty records at a local shop. After pulling it out and wondering why on earth it was not out for sale, the owner told me to pull out the vinyl. It was cracked exactly in half and taped back together. Worthless the store owner said. I thought otherwise and sold it on ebay for $50 radio call letters and all. Ebay, what a silly place.

Anti Anything/Everything?

Here's a very confused insert that comes from Brian Dropdead. "i got an Antisystem 7" with this insert in it from a record store in Bradford UK circa 1998".

That anarchy swastika is hilarious.

Ripped up like shredded wheat!

All hell broke loose on this red vinyl legacy, actually all heaven broke loose on it. This was in the collection of some young punkers dad. One day his wife found jesus and decided to break all his devil music. Grabbed the lp and snapped it in half. Even with the lp unplayable and the cover being bent all the way across the lp still sold for $50 on ebay. The halloween and 3 hits 7"s are from an old ebay auction, not sure what they ended up selling for. And the last in our unholy trilogy are swiss cheese copies of earth ad and walk among us. They come from collector extraordinaire Neggie T. Heres the scoop "Won a lot auction of lps in "playable to great condition"....the only 2 in the lot that were unplayable were the ones I wanted. "

Hammer Damaged.

Today we get a tasty shocker from our pal at collectorscum.com. Broken Records indeed. Here's what justin had to say...

"Back in 2001 I get a random email from someone who stumbled on to my "My eBay" page since we were both bidding on an original copy of Guided By Voice's "Propeller" LP. At that time I already owned a couple copies of the LP, so I must have been bidding on it just to keep an eye on where it would end, which if I recall correctly, at that time was maybe $150. The guy was emailing me because he saw I had a picture of the Hammer Damage "Laugh" 7" on my page, and was surprised to see it. He told me he was in graduate school at Kent State at the time the record came out. He saw the band one night at a small bar on campus and bought the record the next day at a local record shop run by a couple members of the band Human Switchboard.

I already owned the Hammer Damage 7", having previously found it on a set sale list online for the super bargain price of $10, which still makes it one of my best scores ever. But I told him that I could use another copy for my trade list, and I had a spare of the Propeller LP to trade. At the time, the value of this trade was at least three to one in my favor, but he didn't realize quite how desirable his record was, and he was more than happy to do it. A few days later the package arrives, and it looks like the postal workers decided to play hockey, and this was their puck. I opened it, and a small chip of vinyl fell out onto the floor. Fuck! I looked closely, and luckily the chip did not quite reach the music grooves. On later testing, I found it would play great, but you needed a really steady hand to drop the needle in just the right place to start.

The sender had used a proper 45 mailer, although the padding inside was newspaper, not cardboard. I don't believe in postal insurance -- I'd rather take an occasional loss than pay out an insurance fee on the 99 of 100 packages that arrive fine -- so that was not an option. I decided the record in that state was still worth it to me, so I let the trade stand and did not give the other guy a hard time about his packaging job, which could have been better, but would have survived fine given normal conditions.

I let one friend trade his slightly rattier sleeve plus some now forgotten record for the still very nice sleeve pictured here. Then another friend, somewhat to my surprise, offered me the choice of a Fun Things 7" or Fear "I Love Livin in the City" 7", both in decent shape all around, for the Hammer Damage. I went for the Fun Things, thinking I'd be more likely to find the Fear again some day (something which finally happened this past year.) He later upgraded the Hammer Damage, and the current whereabouts of this very playable, but very ugly copy are unknown to me.

The obvious postscript here to people who know GBV records is that the value of an original Propeller LP later skyrocketed, with prices of $1,000+ not unheard of. My lopsided trade turned out to be in other guy's favor, not mine. I've had 3 or 4 original copies of Propeller pass through my hands, but currently have none, a situation I'm not so happy about. But given the choice, I'd rather have the Fun Things anyway, so no complaints here."

can't disagree, there aren't too many thing's id' rather have than that Fun Things 7"...

Write on it, you scum.

Everyone at WMWM must have been bored to death judging by the layers of crossed out shit written on this lp cover. There is so much stuff you cant even read it all. Check the bottom right corner of the front, probably the funniest thing on there. Someone really had some time on their hands when they gave each song an X rating, although no song actually recieved the coveted tripple X. Proving that GG was already looking for "mainstream" success as a note next to one song suggests. Surprisingly the vinyl has only 2 light marks on it. The proud owner of this masterpiece is Cooch from painkiller records, buy some shit, www.painkillerrecords.com