Here's one of my favorites. Its not a record but it rules. Backstory: People are doing a video web thing about Billy Joel (thats a shot of East Meadow not Hicksville you morons)...

They interviewed a friend of mine (Tony Balls, the the bearded moron with glasses about 40 seconds in) at a record store and then misquoted him in some write up saying he called The Piano Man a bald drunk. It just so happens this record store was about 5 minutes from Billy's house and Billy read that write up so.... Upon returning to work one morning Tony found this lovely note waiting for him.

Chipped Chrome, Motherfuckers!

Here's one i swiped years ago from a guy named Leo off some dumb message board. The story was he got a lot of 30 punk records off some old timer meatball in Milan. They were all a bit partied but this one was broked off. It was a happy ending after all because it was all dirt cheap. Leo has a blog here check it www.derleonehas7cab.blogspot.com

J is for jealous.

This comes to us from a guy named Mark. This one isn't that trashed but has a pretty funny story attached to it. He was trying to buy some records off an old hardcore dude, but was only able to liberate this lone Flag LP. The story... "While flipping through his records i noticed a lot of them had crude messages written on them in red marker. i asked him what was up with that and he talked about how this guy "little john" who was stationed down here in the navy back then and "went on to sing in some band called the cro mags" got fucked up one night and wrote all over a bunch of his records and also spilled beer on a bunch of them."

Nothing else really needs to be said, record collection partied by John Joseph.

You is a goddamned fucking sonofabitch, motherfucking scrap of paper!!

Looks like someone ripped up some paper like shredded wheat and threw it in the vinyl. Never liked this version of rat fink so getting this copy for a deal would be alright with me. Another sent in by someone i cant remember. Running low. Hit me up with some funny or wrecked bonzers.

A Demon inside of you.

This one comes from a guy named Sean who has some serious rage issues. His story...

"I got ripped off for the bootleg instead of the OG (I payed 50). Because the dealer is one of these SUPER "opinionated" borderline-tweeker dudes, I knew I couldn't argue my way into a return/refund. So I (quite psychotically-angrily) took the hit and sacrificed the damn thing to the karma gods."

Must have been a fun moment for anyone looking into his window. Grown man fights with and brutalizes vinyl record. Film at 11. He should probably take this to comicon and have Pushead sign it.

Check out Seans blog here http://damagingnoise.blogspot.com/

Your packing skills are an Embarrassment.

Kansas is alright, if you like broken records. This fine art punk, kbd bonzer looks great with a 3rd of it sliced right off. Such a clean break, with a nice twisting cavern of white space between the black grooves. I'm sure the buyer didn't think so, and was probably pulling out some hair and possibly shedding a few tears when he got this one in the mail. Just slap some gorilla glue in there and it should be good as new.

It's been so long since the owner agreed to let me post this scan i can't remember who it was. If my failing memory is correct its ultra KBD collector Ryan Richardson. Check him out at www.breakmyface.com & ryebreadrodeo.com. If its not Ryan's please let me know and i will give you a free patio set.

Too much pressure...

is what the postman applied to the package when he folded it like a taco and stuffed it thru the mail slot. To add insult to injury this has one of those funny hand colored sleeves with doodles inside which according to tales of lore is limited to 25 copies. Could be a fake since it is paired up with 2nd press vinyl but who the hell knows some 30 years later. This comes from Jeroen of the Netherlands who said it was purchased for $3 in the late 80's and broken in 91. Thats some "back in the day" breakage n shit. I have severely neglected this blog but not too much shit has come my way in terms of broken record stories, hell this was sent to me over a year ago. Guess i'm just lazy.